Can't you just see it? A celebrity roast for the shaheed to be, a last meal before venturing forth to blow himself (or herself) up and earn that express ticket to Paradise, to sit at the right hand of Allah.

  Yasser Arafat, having dined on roast pig, assumes his duties as emcee and makes his way to the podium. He acknowledges the cheers. "Greetings brothers and sisters. You know, people wonder why Arab states won't recognize Israel. Hey, who would recognize it? Somebody keeps blowing it up."

Wild Applause

  He continues - "Suha once said she would be very proud if our son to became a shaheed. We don't have a son; I've often thought of making the ultimate sacrifice myself, but of all the luck, I'm allergic to dynamite. Whatcha gonna do?"

Ta-chink tonk on the cymbals, more applause

  "As you all know, it is my practice to give our martyrs a hearty sendoff and wish them Allah-speed before they leave on their mission. However, I do draw the line at high-fiving shaheeds. Wouldn't want to ruin my whole day ya' know - jar the detonator."

Ta-chink tonk, again applause

  "Seriously, folks. We're here to celebrate tonight's guest of honor, Marwan bin Kelb al Hajj."

  "Marwan, I had a visitation from my dead cousin Jabril, he was martyred some time ago - Six dead Zionists, 13 more Jews in the hospital."

  "He told me that when he arrived in Paradise he was met by some djinn, 'I suppose you want to collect your reward of 72 virgins.'"

  "So Jabril says, 'Praise Allah, it is true!'"

  "Then the djinn says, 'Okay, follow me.' and he shows Jabril to a large wooden door. 'The virgins are in there.'"

  "Jabril goes in and closes the door. 30 seconds later he runs out of the room yelling at the djinn, 'Wait for me!'"

  "The djinn says, 'What's your problem?'"

  'Those are the ugliest women I have ever seen.'

  'Hey buddy, don't come crying to me! Didn't it ever dawn on you that there's a reason they would all be virgins?'

  This, of course, brings down the house.

Martyrs, Semantics

  A suicide bomber detonates himself on a bus in Israel, and the Islamic Resistance Movement, HAMAS, acclaims him a martyr. 19 men board 4 planes, and within a couple of hours the towers of the World Trade Center have crumbled, the Pentagon is on fire, and a field in Pennsylvania is scarred with wreckage. Al Qaeda celebrates their martyrdom.

  The martyr is celebrated in all cultures, in many religions. The martyr, or hero in secular culture, he who is willing to not just risk but to actually give up their lives for the sake of something they believe in passionately — whether it's some mix of politics and religion, or an ideal about service, or their country, or their faith.

  The Jews have martyrs. A good example is the great sage Rabbi Akiva whose last words, as Roman torturers flayed the skin from his body, were the Shema, the central tenet of Jewish belief - Hear O Israel! The Lord, our God, The Lord is one.

  For the Christian, Christ is the ultimate martyr. He willingly gave up his life to die on a cross and redeem all mankind from sin.

  Islam has a different take on martyrdom. The shaheed is not killed by others - he takes his own life and in so doing kills as many of the enemy as he can. Murder, mass murder is celebrated and held up as an example for the next generation. Something is wrong here.

  The Passover seder celebrates the deliverance of the Jews from slavery in Egypt. During the seder (which was Jesus' Last Supper, and is why Easter and Passover occur so close), the youngest male child present asks the Four Questions allowing for an extended discussion about the long ago Exodus from Egypt. The first question is "Why is this night different from all other nights?"

  Daily in Israel the first question on a child's mind is more personal: "Will I be able to board a school bus without being blown up by a suicide bomber?"

  Here is an alternative, to the first seder question:

  Why is this war different from all other Arab wars to destroy Israel?

  A terror campaign is waged against Jewish civilians, but this time the war is not being conducted against Israel alone. The "martyrs" have struck in many parts of the world killing thousands. They continue to do so on an almost daily basis.

  There is need of some serious attitude adjustment and redefinition in the Muslm world.

*A nargila is an Arab water pipe; also known as a hookah. Two may be seen on the table in the image above.